Hey, it's me, Yosos. Soooo... I hit 500 followers. That number feels like it should be something to celebrate, something I should be proud of, and maybe a part of me is, but honestly? I'm not sure how to feel about it. Younger me would've been over the moon. He would've sat at his old computer refreshing the page over and over watching the number climb, notifications popping up one by one, making him feel like he mattered. Like he existed. Like he was useful. That version of me thought if enough people noticed him maybe he wouldn't feel so lonely anymore.

But now? Now I don't think it matters. I don't feel that excitement anymore. I think I've just learned to live with the feeling of not really existing in any meaningful way.

I've realized I'm not important in people's lives, or maybe I am to some, but only in a fleeting way. Most of the time I'm just there. Just a name, a face, or a profile they scroll past. And the more I think about it the more I realize how easily I could be replaced. Like I'm just another toy, something people pick up for a while before moving on to something better.

There will always be someone better than me, someone who makes more sense, who fits better, who's more fun to be around, who's more active, who does more. And that's fine. That's life, right? But it doesn't make it hurt any less. Having followers doesn't make me feel better. If anything it makes me feel worse. More people watching means more pressure, more expectations, more ways to mess up. It feels like I'm standing in front of a crowd I didn't ask for, waiting for someone to point out all the ways I'm not good enough. I don't even like the word fans. It feels so wrong. I never wanted a following. I never wanted people to look up to me. The idea of being idolized honestly terrifies me because I know I'm not someone worth looking up to. I'll just let people down in the end. I always do. Sometimes it makes me wonder if people actually like my art or even me, if they care about what I create, or if they're just here out of habit. Do they even notice me? Or am I just another account they scroll past? I don't know. I don't feel great about it all today. To show my gratitude though, I thought about making some pixel art or animations. If you message me on Newgrounds within 24 hours or whenever, I'll try to create something for you. But I want to be honest, I might not get to everyone. Some might take a long time, others might not happen at all because of my schedule or just how I feel. Sometimes it's hard to even try. And no, I'm not doing anything NSFW. It's just not my thing anymore. I don't know if this is enough. I don't even know if it matters. But it's the only way I can think of to say thank you to everyone who keeps following this account, even if I don't fully understand why. So yeah, thanks for 500 followers. Maybe we'll hit 600 someday, or maybe we won't. Either way, happy New Year. I hope to see you all next year. Maybe things will feel a little better by then.

Hello Everyone ^^!! So.... I finally set up a Ko-fi account! Yey!!!!!! soo If you feel like throwing some cash my way no pressure.... but.... ahhmmm... you know, I wouldn’t mind. Okay I made this because I remembered a message from someone on Newgrounds ages ago (I think I got alot of message like this too but I always deleted messages to save some space soo I'm sorry about that ) and he's telling me I should consider taking donations for my art of something like that??. but back then I was like "Eh, maybe someday…^^" Well it only took me two years but here we are!! Still figuring out how it all works but feel free to check it out if you’re curious And as always thanks for the support everyone ^^

Btw: I don't do art commissions yet.. I havent really considered it because I'm still Busy doing College and I thought this Ko-fi thing can help me for my tuition fee or buying some books and medical apparatus to use for my college stuff . anyways Bye ^^

https://ko-fi.com/yosos

I just finished this a Minute ago, Anyways I'm 19 now can't believe I'm still alive and doing College....... I'm not really sure what to say all I can say is that doing fine, I'm Just need to fix some of my personal problems Soo yeah that's all for the Updates.... Bye ^^

Thank you for following me and sticking with me on this account, even though I don't post a lot due to various reasons like mental health, studies, and other personal matters.It makes me a little bit happy and somewhat motivated to create pixel art. It’s funny to look back at my old art and see how much it has changed.

Even though I often feel alone and disappointed in myself, it brings me joy to see so many of you enjoying my art. I’m really thankful for all of you. Maybe I’ll post more art after my graduation, but I’m not sure yet.

Thank you to everyone who follows me, enjoys my art, and to those who have become my friends here. Thank you for 400 followers!

I'm 18 now!!!!!! I guess I'm legal now........idk what it means. Anyways no pixel art for today sorry but I bought a new computer (with the light thingy) sooo yeah ^^ That's all.

Hello everyone,

I want to start by apologizing for not posting much Pixelart lately. I've been extremely busy with my school studies as I'm approaching Senior graduation, and I find myself feeling empty every day after I get home. Additionally, my computer has been giving me some trouble lately, so I want to apologize for any delays caused by these issues.

I'd like to share something personal. It's no secret to those who know me on this website that I've been struggling with my mental health. I've often felt like an alien or an outcast, both in real life and sometimes online. I lack close irl friends to hang out with or even talk to, and I've been constantly battling depression and other mental challenges. These struggles have sometimes turned toxic, not only for me but for those around me, due to my negative thoughts and beliefs. I've even faced bullying because of my mental health issues, and I've isolated myself, believing that sharing my feelings wouldn't matter because no one could help me, and it's good for others.

For the past few months, I've been trying to come to terms with my situation. No matter what changes I've attempted whether it's trying to be more positive, becoming a happier person, or helping others for there problems it often feels like it doesn't matter. People still judge me and view me as an idiot or being naive. I've found myself agreeing with their judgments, and it has all left me feeling numb.

I'm uncertain if I can change myself any further because I've exhausted all efforts to transform, only to return to square one. I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper, and all the time I've dedicated to helping others and myself seems to have little impact. This numbness has even made me question if I truly hate myself or not. In this state of uncertainty, I'm not sure about much anymore.

Anyway, that's all for today. Again, I want to express my sincere apologies to those of you who are still waiting for your pixel art requests. Your understanding means a lot to me.

Thank you ^^.

Just Dancing

Thank you for Following me And sorry if there's no 200 follower Special I'm kinda Sick right now because of Alot of Work and studies I don't have time to Rest alot and that's all thank you ^^.

Holy smoke!!!!!!!!!! I'm Very Thankful to All I don't know What To Say I'm Just recently woke Up and find This. Holy smoke! thank you.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!